sigh

sometimes when all is going well, certain things just turn around and stab you in the back with reasons, unexplainable. thats just simply whats happening. somehow the feeling's just like a tsunami sweeping through a town... strikes without a warning, everyones affected one way or another, leaving you in a dilemma and asking yourself what have we done to deserve this. being a leader, often its the ones you lead who suffer when a mistake is made and not yourself. depressed, yet not allowing our emotions to affect our duties because of the one thing called Professionalism. something instead... only time can heal.

its been a year since Blen's death anniversary. many might have forgotten, but not me for sure. what a small world it is, his dad was my boat instructor during the training days. being taught by him brought back memories of how Blen used to train me with all the PA equipment... but i know, you're up there now enjoying yourself dude. whatever it is, you've still been in our hearts all these while.

childhood memories relived

with soccer matches on these few days... seriously, how much sleep can you get? haha. tiring week it was, but guess thats the way things are gonna become huh? the amazing race thingy on tuesday and wednesday turned out to be quite a fun one. better still, i got to take back sec1E as marshal! the class i took for orientation. the annoying yet adorable little ones. haha. =) the bus to the botanic gardens passed by my kindergarten and for the very first time in many years i got a chance to see my kindergarten, located along holland drive. its buildings very much look the same, except for its colour fadding off. thoughts just flowed through my mind bout the many good memories i had right there. locking everyone out of the com lab and getting a huge punishment for that, imagining to dig for dinosaur bones in the sand pit, fighting over the spaceship in the playground, the annual parents' concert that we all dread, having the whole school to celebrate your birthday with you... hah, yes the good old days when we cared about nothing else but PLAY. sadly as we all grow up, many of us have lost that innocence and began paying more attention to what society wants us to be, and not who we really desire to become... remember the days when we all wanted to be firefighters, policemen, docters, teachers... what happened to those dreams?

mann... responsibility and commitment has definitely grown much more for me now. camps, ltc, syf, ulp, linkamania are just some of the events coming my way. not forgetting school is reopening and studies now isnt going to be as simple and easy as secondary school was. sometimes, life isnt as sweet as it sounds. the harsh reality of our parents aging quicker and not being able to provide for us in time to come still well remains, though many of us would pretty much try to avoid the thought. its sad to know how hard parents are willinging to work just to give their children the very best they can provide... but well, parents will be parents. heh, and its time i start recognising that and study hard in return...

appeals

started off the morning with a bad tummyache and diarrhea, therefore had to turn down the gang in joining to help out with the sec1 amazing race programme. my sincere apologies. went down to get my eye check up done in the afternoon and then to register for the powerboat theory exams at sp. that really burnt a huge hole in my wallet =(. at the same time accompanied kevin to do his appeals at the various polys. there, i met afew others whom i've havent seen for some time. had a good chat and caught up with the activities some of us have been up to since last christmas. interesting indeed haha. what can i say, but all the best with your appeals guys. fred not, we'll keep the prayers coming in yea. =) just finished catching the oscar awards on tv. somehow it give me an urge to go rent some movies later on in the day. yeah, i shall do just that. haha.

nothing much for today, just waiting for you to return home really... its late and i should be turning in soon. the amazing race's still on later and i better go for it before i get nagged at. haha

speechless

postings were out last friday and once again my prayers are answered. AMEN! so its just a matter of time before its back to school, yeah business studies that is. for the first time im happy to annouce that im excited about getting my butt back in the books! haha. being involved with too many rc activities lately can start to become quite a chore. national fdcomp yesterday went well. besides viewing the competitiveness put up by the various squads, it felt great seeing those familiar faces from ulp and evic 3yrs ago. its good to know everyone's doing well and ever so supportive of their units. fairfield did put up a great fight really. unfortunately, well... there were others that did better. nonetheless, im proud of you people. for taking up this challenging despite knowing it wouldn't be easy on yourself from the very beginning. afterall, its the process that counts not the results. you guys did your best, and thats all that matters. fdcomp 07, we shall look forward to now. =)

attended the evening mass at holy cross today. made thanksgiving for the results and posting, but more importantly to pray for all those doing their service learning overseas at this moment. mann, it's just been afew hours and it already feels as though weeks have passed since she left... i miss you.

3 days to the big day

its been awhile since i've left the tv in my room switched off and listened to the soothing and mind easing music of five for fighting on my laptop. yeah, the heavy and bulky laptop that i've been using since the old one crashed. its about time i get a new one for school. posting will be out this friday. hmm, might consider sourcing around for notebooks next week. anyone interested? anyways... listening to all the music only ends me up in a reflective mood. thought about certain issues, and with a little prayer, i can now only wait and look forward for brighter signs to appear.

spent the day having the last fdcomp training at fairfield. it's been the fourth year for me already. just amazing how fast time flies. what else can i say besides myself being proud of the squad. yes, my squad. for surviving through all the tough trainings, the efforts put in, the bond we share, and the fun times we'll never forget... it has been a big achievement for everyone. i know you guys will perform simply wonderful on saturday and none of us will be let down. as the saying would go, ' i was never a champion... but i did serve and train with a squad of champions.' have faith in yourself and in the men on your left and right. =)

attended ash wednesday mass at holy cross in the evening and the church was almost packed by the time i arrived. standing throughout the service when having already done quite a number of pumpings before that was er... ouch. but oh wells. cheer up my A level seniors! all of us have been praying hard for you guys, so do believe that God has his plans for you! despite it not looking nice at this moment but eventually, we will understand when the outcome draws closer. =)

a tragedy

how easy it is to point out another's mistakes but yet, difficult identifying one's own. sighh, its saddening to see how selfish humans can become. im tired, disappointed, exhausted and on the verge of retreating.

its about time i realise... i'm here to deliver standards, not to please you guys.

Lord, why this test have you put before me?